Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Because you might want an update

Wow. Five weeks of ill-health and still no improvement? This is a record even for me. Seriously. In the past at least either a) I could draw and binge watch Netflix or b) there was recognizeable progress every week. Not to mention I could recieve visitors - these days seeing anyone other than Nathan tires me out really quickly, so other than my doctor, I have only seen non-family members three times this month.

With this... there isn't much new to share. My health crisis continues, and while not life-threatening in any way, it certainly is almost completely debilitating - my mother and mother-in-law have been coming over to cook and clean just to give my husband a break. My pain and fatigue is just so overwhelming that I count it as a good day if I can actually cook even half a meal. I just can't be out of bed for very long. Even holding a book or scrolling on my phone is too painful sometimes. Right now I'm sitting up to write this post, but I'm not going to last very long. These days I don't leave the house except to go to the doctor.

To reassure you... We are working aggressively at getting me better, and the good news is that this extended period of awfulness isn't unexpected or even worrying - it's actually kind of a good sign. I'm not comfortable talking about the details publicly (although I will confirm that I am not pregnant), but I do want to reassure everyone that a) I'm not dying and b) my body is making progress, it's just that 'progress' is going to feel more painful for awhile before it actually gets better. In fact, we are very very hopeful that on the other side of this we'll find my health in a much better place than it has been for years. It's an awful fight right now, but one that should hopefully be very rewarding.

I've basically said all of this before. It really is just staying the same. Everything in my head is pretty bleak right now, so sharing anything other than facts just really isn't happening. Part of me wants to share more of the emotional stuff, but I find myself not comfortable with releasing all those thoughts publicly... which, if you know me, is saying something pretty extreme right there (I'm a fairly open person).

I'm not writing a single word of this post because I feel I need pity. I have been surrounded by tons and tons of caring people (even if I don't have the energy to see most of them or even respond to their texts). I'm overwhelmed by the prayers.

1 comment:

AnneMarie said...

Thanks for the update! You are so incredible at persevering. I will keep the prayers coming! I'm really glad that you are making great progress (even if it doesn't necessarily feel like it)!