A Director's musings

Am I crazy for taking on "The Shadow of the Bear?"

Every now and then I wonder.

It's always crazy being a producer AND a director. But producing and directing a feature-length film...independantly?

Yeah. That's craziness.

But then, often times people that follow God's will ARE considered to be crazy. Just look at the prophes in the Bible! Granted, I didn't get a vision from Heaven...but I cannot doubt that all of this was meant to happen.

It's not easy though. People think filming a movie is such a cool thing...and it is! But it can be oh-so-stressful too.

Take last Tuesday for example.

I woke up not knowing for sure whether or not we'd be filming. Scheduling had been a pain in the neck and I had just finished a rather depressing discouraging day on Monday. So I woke up going..."nah...we're not filming."

Then my phone buzzed and I got a text from Anthony (Fish) asking whether we'd be filming today. I thought for a moment. There's nothing like pulling off a film shoot and being productive and seeing friends to beat depression. So I pulled up my facebook (FACEBOOK IS AMAZING! I couldn't do this film without it) and scanned my messages. Sure enough we had Sharayah (Rose) and Eric (cinematographer) both saying they could probably film tuesday. So I shot off some text messages (couldn't film without those either) and after about two hours of frantic messaging and sitting on pins and needles, I knew I had my actors.

Then I found myself freaking out even more, because a) I hadn't written the scene yet, b) I had about four hours to write the scene in c) I had to bake cookies for the crew d) I had to turn the garage into Mr. Freet's basement, e) I had to get costumes for Fish and Rose and f) I had to get make-up ready for them too. Plus all my other usual chores.

Talk about major freak-out!

But God, in his grace and providence, brought it all together. My brother prayed with me, which calmed my nerves down immensely, Anthony came down to my house early and helped me with the cookies and getting the costumes (we had to dash over to a thriftstore and Wal-Mart to get them), Phil and Andy showed up and cheerfully got the garage in order in record time (they cleaned it up later too!) and my sister concocted fake blood and a bruise formula for Fish's wounds.

And that's usually how it is. I freak out...but it always comes together.

So am I crazy for taking this project on?

You tell me.