Saturday, May 9, 2009

So who could totally own Edward Cullen?

Or squish him, or slice him into ribbons or otherwise completely defeat him?

Whether you're an Edward fan or Edward hater, you know you want the answer to this question. Read on.

Twilight Widower gives the answer.

(wee bit of language there, but not bad)

Just one example:

9. Wolverine

Arguably the most powerful of the X-Men (that discussion for another blog), this mutant hero has at least 70 years on Cullen. Advantages: Wolverine (Logan to his friends), to my recollection, has never stalked a woman 90 years his junior, and the only thing sparkly about him is his razor-sharp claws.


Can regenerate any damage, up to and including being disintegrated.
Superhuman senses and agility.
Skeleton is coated with a nigh-indestructible layer of Adamantium.
Claws of same Adamantium, which can cut through everything.
Can move on after a personal tragedy instead of dwelling on it for nearly a century.

The Skinny:

Probably the most even match of this exercise. While Cullen may have an advantage in speed, Wolverine has an edge in combat experience. Also, when Wolverine enters his "battle rage" he relies purely on instinct to control his actions. Edward mind-reading advantage would therefore be nullified.

The Verdict:

By virtue of this being a near-even match, I am tempted to call it a draw, but since Wolverine's Adamantium claws are made of the strongest substance in the known universe, I'm assuming Cullen won't be able to deliver the decapitation required for a killing blow. On the other hand, said Adamantium can cut through simply anything, which therefore must include vampire flesh. Winner: Wolverine.


Anonymous said...


Melody the Incorrigible said...

Bwa-ha-ha! Take that glittery stalker-man! My money's on the mutant.
And Logan wins the handsome contest, too.

Phoenix A. Cullen said...

I do agree about the handsome Contest... :p But since I am a Cullen I don't think that all of that would be as easy as you may think.... :)
Don't forget that unless you tear up the vampire and burn the pieces they can put themselves back together.... That would be hard to beat. But then again the Mutant is sometimes way more impressive... :p