Sunday, March 2, 2008

Have a laugh

I promise that I shall rarely post something as silly as this, but a friend sent it on to me and I laughed so much that I thought I might as well give my readers a smile too...

Spread the Stupidity
Only in America drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of The store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America people order Double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America we leave cars Worth thousands of dollars in the Driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Only in America . they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Why the sun lightens our hair,But darkens our skin ?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when They are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe,Why do they call the airport the terminal?

On second thought...a lot of these questions are actually quite thought provoking! Do comment!!!


Josh said...

I loved them! But I must say I don't really have an answer for all those questions...

Paul Xavier said...

Hilarious!!! I LOVED IT! :)

Abby said...

That made me smile! Thanks for sharing. :-)

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha! Oh my gosh, I DO opening my mouth when I put mascara on! That's so weird!

Elenatintil said...

Actually, I do know the answer to that one. Think about it. It requires more muscle effort to keep your mouth closed when you're looking naturally you open it.

At least...that's my theory...

Josh said...

I agree!

~From the resident mascara expert.

Elenatintil said...

Haha...I thought you were the eyeliner expert.

Anonymous said...

Uuuuh...eye-liner? Josh? Hmmm....that's uh...weird! Lol!

Elenatintil said... Captain Jack Sparrow?

Anonymous said...

Hahaha, I KNOW! That's why I thought it was slightly weird....but funny!

Ma'antikvah said...

The congress vs. progress thing....? WHAT? And yeah, what about rush hour? I always thought that was weird as a kid. And the drugstore thing--why do they keep all the drugs at the back? I think it's probably because most people just DONT go in drugstores for the drugs--they are more likely to buy a toothbrush or a pack of cigarettes. Hmmm. Food for thought.