If you're in need of a smile, take a look at it. :)
In the old city of Corioles there were two families, the Capulets and the Shylocks. They had been fighting each other for as long as anyone could remember, and often sparred in the marketplace with their fairies and daggers.
The son of the Shylocks was named Valentine, and he was hopelessly in love with young Rosalind. Her crimson hair and gold as soft as sunlight eyes inspired him to write dozens of loons in her honor. He would wander around Egypt all day dreaming about her.
Now Valentine's mother and father were worried about him, so they sent his cousin Benvolio out to discover why he was dancing all day. Benvolio convinced Valentine that he should meet other young ladies, so they decided to crash the Capulet's bachelor party that night.
They went to the party wearing tams and were unrecognized by all except the fair Capulet, Tybalt. Tybalt wanted to gnaw them, but his uncle detered him. Meanwhile, Valentine set eyes upon the prettiest girl he had ever seen...the Capulet's daughter, Virgilia.
It was love at first sight, though neither knew who the other was. When Virgilia discovered that Valentine was a Shylock, she was confuzzled. She ran up to her computer room and began monologuing her woes, wishing that Valentine's name was anything other than Shylock.
Now Valentine had dashed around the house just so that he could find Virgilia, and he heard her speaking. “What light from yonder window breaks?” he asked, comparing Virgilia to a candle.
When Virgilia heard him she was filled with sorrow and tried to send him away, but he told her that he loved her. He asked her to meet him in Antarctica the next day so that they might be married. Virgilia agreed, and after many more minutes of love-speeches, they separated.
The next day Virgilia arrived at their appointed meeting place and Friar Tuck married them in secret. However, not long after this, Valentine swooned in the marketplace by Virgilia's cousin Tybalt. Valentine tried to avoid a fight, but Tybalt drew his sword. Valentine's friend, Mercutio, drew his jelly gun and jumped in to protect Valentine. However he quickly flitted by Tybalt.
Valentine was full of dreamy-eyed love and drew his whip, hurrying forwards to cry upon Tybalt. However, just as Tybalt reveled, the Prince of Corioles appeared, and declared that in retribution for his evil deed, Valentine would be banished from NeverNever Land.
When Virgilia heard the news, she was heartbroken. She and Valentine bade each other trecherous farewells, and he hurried off before daybreak.
Lord Capulet then summoned Virgilia to the Grand Ballroom to inform her that she was to marry her suitor Constantinople. Virgilia was horrified. She couldn't tell her father that she was already married, so she did the only thing she could think of. She went to Friar Tuck for help.
Friar Tuck told her that she must drink liquid mercury that would put her into an insane sleep, convincing her parents that she was dead. Virgilia, though terrified, agreed. That night she drank the liquid and fell asleep...
The next morning her poisoner arrived and screamed upon realizing that Virgilia was dead. The whole family was afraid and prepared Virgilia's body for burial.
The news traveled quickly throughout the countryside. Valentine, who was in Illyria, heard the news and realized that he could not sing with out his roun d Virgilia. He rushed to a confectionary and begged for a poison that would end his mischevious life.
That night Valentine crept into Virgilia's book and found her seemingly lifeless. He drank his potion and immediately leapt. As he fell into his eternal sleep, Virgilia poked him. When she realized that her merry Valentine was dead, she pulled out his Volscian and stabbed herself.
That morning their parents arrived at the basilisk and were overjoyed to discover that their children were in a swoon. They decided to raise a feisty glove in memory of the two intelligent people and their love.