Tuesday, June 17, 2008

What Dawn Treader *could* be (but shouldn't!)

My good friend and forum "sister" Lady Rose wrote this hilarious take on a teaser trailer for VotDT. Basically, it's a "what if" on what would happen if Disney decided to combine VotDT and POTC....

(I am reposting this here with her permission)

Jerry Bruckheimr logo, followed by Walt Disney and Walden Media.

Eerie music.

Caspian, Lucy, Edmund and Eustace stare upwards as they sail into blackness.


Caspian spreads out a map.

Caspian: We are looking for the seven lords banished by my uncle Miraz.
Eustace: Why? Why can’t we look for something worthwhile? Like England?


Edmund: Where were they sent?
Caspian: They were sent out to sea. Westward. They never returned.
Eustace: And now we have to search the whole ocean?


Reep: Why not keep sailing, all the way to Aslan’s country? To world’s end?
Eustace: Because it’s too far… and the world is round!


Sound of sword being drawn. Edmund, Reepicheep and Lucy stare upwards.

Lucy: Who are you?

A Pirate looks down from where he is standing on a mast Music pauses.


Jack sighs and rolls his eyes.

Jack: Captain! Captain Jack Sparrow!


Music changes to more adventurous theme.

Jack: So, do you have a heading for this venture?
Caspian: No, I don’t.

Jack waves something.

Jack: Then if you’ll allow me to take the wheel…

Pushes Caspian out of the way.

Jack: I think I have something that can help.

Shows Jack’s compass.

Jack: I am now in charge of this ship.
Caspian: Oh are you?
Jack: I’ve got the wheel, the compass, the directions… and I shall now transform the crew into a measly bunch of pirates. You’ve got no control. Savvy?


Slavers tying up hands.

Caspian: I am the king of Narnia!
Edmund: So was I!
Lucy: I’m the queen!
Jack: I’m not with them.


Sea Monster curving over ship. All looking up nervously.

Jack: You don’t tie up people to masts, do you?
Lucy: Of course not! Why?
Jack: Just wondering.

Jack v.o. Do you have the courage and fortitude…

Swords clash as Caspian and crew fight off the slavers.

Jack v.o. …to follow orders…

Eustace sneaking water from near empty barrel.

Jack v.o. … and stay true in the face of danger…

Sailors fall to ground or run away in fright as dragon swoops over.

Shows Jack and Reepicheep sitting at a table..

Jack: And almost certain death?
Reepicheep: Are you calling me a coward?

*quick succession of scenes*

Lucy looks into book

Jack runs down beach with invisible Dufflepuds hopping after him

Edmund’s boot turns to gold

Doors open to reveal a lost lord

Ramandu’s daughter smiles at Jack

Aslan turns from a lamb to a lion

Eustace sees dragon

Seagull flying out of the darkness

Reepicheep sailing in boat up the wall of water at the end of the world

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Pirates of the Dawn Treader

Reep and Jack talking while sitting at a table.

Jack: You don’t want to go there mate. End of the world? Terrifying. Huge wall of water going straight down,
Reep: It does not, it goes up!
Jack: Down!
Reep: Up!

Coming to Theaters June 2010.


Amanda said...

Hee hee! I love my work of art!

Of course, you can replace the "June" at the end of whatever month it actually is released in... but the whole 'sea and ships' seems more of a summery thing... *grins* Perhaps influenced by Pirates of the Caribbean?

Amanda said...

BTW, did you catch the "Ramandu's Daughter smiles at Jack? LOL, a new romance...

cuileann said...

LOL! That is simply hilarious. I can picture it all too well.

Elenatintil said...

Rose- yep- caught that! Reminds me of a fan fic I read once in which Jack ended up liking Eowyn...talk about randomly weird!

Lady Rose said...

Woah! Where? I have to read that! PM me the link big sis?

Elenatintil said...

Unfortunately I read the story years ago and haven't saved the link. You could probably still find it on FanFiction.net if you did some searching.

Lady Rose said...


Raewyn said...

*whipes tears from her eyes*

Mamma Rose, that was hilarious! What inspired you?

lol..I need to read that fic too! We can look together, Mamma, and whichever of us finds it first can tell the other!

Delaney said...

Loved the Jack/Ramandu thing. That should keep the "Susaspian" (as suchwascharn of NarniaWeb says) fans happy. ;)

Quite excellent, Lady Rose! :D I laughed very hard.

Carpe Guitarrem said...

Hahahaha...yes, simply wonderful!

Ma'antikvah said...

Oh...My...Word...I teared up that was so funny!