Sometimes it feels like the older you get, the faster time flies. Has it seriously already been five days since I last posted? Has it been two weeks since my surgery? Has it been two months since I came home from school?
God's been challenging my heart a lot lately. I've been wrestling with hard questions and hopefully growing stronger because of that. This year has just been a year of growing in understanding in ways I never thought I'd have to. Funny how God works, isn't it?
And hard. I improve, but it's like two steps forwards one step back... and sometimes it feels like one step forwards and three steps back. I've learned that doctors really like my blood -- so much so that my new theory is that they're all vampires. I mean why else would they keep insisting on taking the red stuff? And by red stuff I don't mean the kool-aid.
I think it's really at the holidays that we notice how much we have - or haven't - changed. We compare ourselves to where we were a year ago. What bugged us? What didn't? What were our hopes then? What is the reality now? What has improved? What has gotten worse? Who has left our lives... and who has joined?
When I hit the holidays I normally always think at some point "I wonder what it'll be like a year from now." So it's only natural that the opposite is true as well.
I'm not at all where I thought I would be a year ago. All those plans went the way of the dodo bird. Well, maybe not all of them, but a lot. On the other hand, other people in my life are pretty much exactly where we would have predicted them a year ago. So what's different about me? Am I just too stubborn in my own plans? Or does God really have something that different and unusual planned for me?
Honestly? It wouldn't surprise me. I don't mean that I'm special or unique anymore than anyone else is... but I do seem to get my plans upset quite a bit more than average. It really makes life quite the...