Friday, May 2, 2014

"How is married life?"

"How is married life?" tends to be the FAQ of my life right now. Which makes perfect sense, of course. I meet people, they know I just got married, it's the polite and natural thing to ask.

Guys, I love married life. More specifically, I love being married to Nathan. And given a chance, I'll go on and on about how wonderful he is, how much I love being married, and having my own home, and getting to fall asleep next to him every night.

I know a big part of being so happy now lies in the fact that I was happy even before I met Nathan. I had a job I loved, I was getting to see my friends more often, I was feeling better, and I was working on a book to be published. My life was good. Almost too full to bring anything else in. I'd reached the point where I could give more than I took in relationships.

That doesn't mean I'm never needy. Nor does it mean that my life hasn't been immeasurably improved since Nathan entered it. This is where I was meant to be. There was just a point of being single that I had to be full and brimming with before I was ready to move on to the next step.

When I was younger, I heard the phrase "being okay single" and tried to force myself into that mindset. The truth is, you can't force that. Especially not when you're sick and really in a place where you can't do much to fill up your time, and you don't have much to give others. Wanting a special someone because you can't keep relying on your parents to fill that emotional need is absolutely natural. And sometimes you will still be in that place when you do meet the right person, because that's God's plan for you. "It is not good for man to be alone" and God uses marriage to mature us just as he uses singleness.

But for me, I had to be full in my life of singleness - not "not needy" but full - before I was ready to be the woman Nathan needed. Our marriage is stronger because of the lessons we learned alone - needed to learn alone.

So now I'm married, and even more busy than before, with housekeeping, running a business, writing a book, keeping in shape, and being a good wife (not to mention daughter, sister and friend! Ah my friends...) And man, I LOVE it.

1 comment:

Marian Ninja said...

I love this :) And I really appreciate that you mention how full married life is even though you don't go into a corporate office to work everyday. Your marriage is so beautiful, and I am so happy for the two of you!