The first two character posters for X-Men: First Class were released this weekend. And despite misgivings about other aspects of the film, I have to say the posters look pretty cool! The X-Men sit down to watch the trailer for X-Men: First Class. After it is over...
Silence.
Then... everyone starts talking at once.
Hank: Well, I must say the digital effects used to portray my transformation look quite excellent.
Peter: (shocked) The Professor had hair?
Emma: (stunned) A bra. They put me in a bra... do they have any idea how long it took me to design my costume? Weeks of analysis...
Bobby: Kurt, was that your mom in that one shot in the bedroom? Cuz she was hot--
Kurt: (hands over his ears) TMI! TMI!
Emma: (furious) Weeks! And all the fabric was specially ordered and then the fittings... and then they go and just pull off the first shiny thing they find on a Wal-Mart shelf and it's not even technically WHITE – I mean, hello. I am the “White Queen.”
Kitty: You know, Emma, if I were you I'd be more worried about how old they make you out to be. I mean, according to this you're at least 70 now.
Emma: I-- well –
Bobby: Wow. Emma's a cougar.
Emma: Robert Drake. Do you seriously want to spend the rest of your life drooling like a two-year-old?
Scott: (pats Emma's shoulder) It's okay, honey. I always knew you fudged the birthdate on your driver's license.
Magneto: (loudly, interupting) Well, I can't complain. It looks like they finally managed to cast a proper actor in my role this time.
Rogue: I don't know, Erik, seeing you without white hair is almost as weird as seeing the Professor WITH hair...
Bobby: What I want to know is why Scott's kid brother joins the team before I do. I mean, he's totally stealing my spot of coolest member on the team!
Jubilee: Humph. You're complaining! At least you got LINES in the first three films! I got a freakin' cameo.
Wolverine: Could be worse, darlin'. They made Scott even more of a prissy prep poster boy. Not that that's hard to do –
Scott: Watch it!
Rogue: And Ah was made over into a wimpy pushover.
Gambit: Oui. And dey made me twenty years older den ma cherie. Not ta mention what dey did ta my accent...
Kitty: You're telling me! They hooked me up with Bobby! No offense to you, Bobby, but how could they think I'd fall for anyone other than Peter?
Peter: Thank you, Katya.
Gambit: I t'ink dey just know our sizzlin' love stories would steal all da glory from Wolverine.
Kurt: Ja. They should have just called the films “the Adventures of the Amazing Wolverine.”
Wolverine: Thanks bub, but no thanks. I got enough women problems without Hugh Jackman getting the title role.
Kitty: Is there any way we could stop this?
Storm: Perhaps a peaceful supplication to the studio heads to stop production?
Beast: A targeted computer virus might destroy the footage.
Wolverine: I say we trash the place.
Magneto: Only if we save the footage of sexy me.
Jubilee: Please do not ever say “sexy me” again or I will suck your blood for breakfast.
Scott: Or... we could do what the Fantastic Four did. Let the movies create such a false picture of us that our enemies completely underestimate us.
Bobby: Wow, that's...
Emma: Actually quite brilliant darling.
Kitty: (from her computer) Uh, you might want to rethink that, Scott.
Scott: Why?
Kitty: Because I'm checking IMDB, and they say the next movie features Jubilee turning into a vampire and Robert Pattinson will be playing her love interest.
Silence.
Jubilee: Okay. We're totally trashing the place.
6 comments:
OMG!!!! That is totally awesome!!!!! It's kind of funny but I make up things like that in my head all the time...I just don't have the patience to write them down. :P Awesome job, m'dear!
Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it!
I was actually inspired by a picture someone did of some Harry Potter characters that had the same theme. I realized that it would make an excellent X-Men spoof, but would be better as a one-shot dialog than as a picture.
Hilarious!! I am still giggling over the sexy me bit! Oh and the last few lines? Genius!!
Thanks for sharing your enjoyment with me! It makes me so happy when I bring laughter to my reader's lives! :)
HAHAHA!!ELENA that was GREAT!!!!!! I LOVED THAT!!!! ROFL!!!!!!!!!
You know I really wanted a studio to make a movie one Marchens but I think I'll just skip it now. ;)
nice! Loved the part about calling the movies "The Adventures of Wolverine".
Post a Comment