How I got my news today.

*My sister starts reading a magazine.*

My sister: They took an Ocean Census.

Me: We're census-ing the ocean now?

My sister: Yep. And apparently they discovered 6000 new species, including an aquatic venus flytrap and a hairy crab they decided to call the "yeti crab."

Me: That's awesome!

....a little while later...

My sister: Eddie Fisher died.

Me: Oh! ...should I be happy or sad?

My sister: He's Princess Leia's dad!

Me: Yeah, but he dumped Princess Leia's mom to marry Elizabeth Taylor.

My sister: Yeah... you know, I didn't know that until we watched that Gilmore Girls episode last night...

... even later ...

My sister: a cat stayed up in a tree for a week and a half!

Me: ... wow...

My sister: It was fifty feet up and the fire department didn't have a ladder long enough to reach it! The couple hand to shoot a bow and arrow up to send a basket with food and water up so the cat would stay alive!

Me: ...wow...

My sister: and then when it got down, it scratched one of the neighbors who helped get it down!

Me: That is a sick cat! Now stop talking so that I can catch up transcribing all of this!