Friday, August 5, 2011

Of Bob the Tomato, Han Solo and Bellatrix Lestrange...

I got a comment on my last version of this earlier today, and after re-reading the whole post to refresh my memory as to what the comment was actually talking about (this was almost two years ago!), I decided to indulge in the fun again! My dear friend Amanda (who got me into the whole thing in the first place) agreed to do it with me, and we had a blast choosing the characters and reacting to the scenarios.

The BOLD is the question
The ITALIC is me
The REGULAR is Amanda

First, list twelve characters from any fandom, then answer the questions below.

1. Katniss Everdeen

2. Ron Weasley

3. Count Dracula

4. Bella Swan

5. Bob the Tomato

6. Rapunzel

7. Captain Jack Harkness

8. Han Solo

9. King Arthur

10. Bellatrix Lestrange

11. Edward Scissorhands

12. Elizabeth Swann

1. Who would make a better collage prof, 6 or 11?
Rapunzel or Edward Scissorhands? Hmmm... I vote Rapunzel. She has so much knowledge from just studying everything all the time, plus she’s FUN!
I think I’ll have to agree that Rapunzel would make a better college prof... Edward is cool enough to interest students initially, but he’s so quiet that they’d probably end up ignoring him anyhow. Rapunzel, however, would make all the boring subjects fun by singing about them.

2. Do you think #2 is hot?
Ron Weasley... I loved him in the book, but wasn’t too keen on Rupert Grint until.... THE BEARD AND THE LONG HAIR! OMG! SERIOUSLY! ;)
I’m sorry Ron, but I don’t think you’re hot. The red hair is adorable... but nah, not my type.
You haven’t seen movie #8 though, have you?
Hold on while I find a picture... SEE???? It’s even more awesome in action.

3. 12 sends 8 out on a mission. What is it? Does it succeed?
Since when is Han Solo going on missions for Elizabeth Swann? Huh, she must be paying him a lot...

Somehow I don’t think Han would agree to do anything Elizabeth asked him... well, unless there was a lot of money involved and she kissed him. Hmm, then I could see him agreeing.
Yeah but then he’d die, because everyone always dies after Elizabeth kisses them.
Well then I guess that answers the question of whether or not it would succeed! So nope, the mission doesn’t succeed.

4. What is or what would be 9's favorite book?
King Arthur would read... um...
Well lets see, if he had any book in the world to choose from and not just the ones from his time period...
Harry Potter for sure. Probably LOTR and Narnia too. I’m sure he’d chuckle over “The Once and Future King”
haha yes, I bet he’d get a kick out of Arthurian literature.

5. Would it make more sense: for 2 to swear fealty to 6, or the other way around?
Oh Ron would swear fealty to Rapunzel, no question.
Awwww, Ron would totally swear fealty to Rapunzel.
Hermione would have to get a little worried, even.
Yeah, and I think Ron could give Flynn a run for his money.
Especially now that he’s got that snazzy hair and beard option!
Oooohhh yeah!

6. For some reason, 5 is looking for a roommate. Should (s)he room with 9 or 10?
I would really advise Bob NOT to go with Bellatrix Lestrange. Bad idea, Bob. Sorry.
Oh my gosh... if Bob were to room with Bellatrix, that wold be a really bad idea. Haha, at least though Bellatrix would figure that Bob was some magical thing and not freak out quite as much as Arthur would at the sight of a talking tomato.
Are you kidding me? Tomato soup would totally be the next item on the Lestrange dinner menu.
And Arthur would yell witchcraft and chop Bob in half... Bob, single rooms are the way to go.

7. 2, 7 and 12 are going out to dinner. Where do they go and what do they discuss?
Ron, Captain Jack Harkness and Elizabeth? Oh boy, if anything gets said beyond Jack hitting on Elizabeth, let me know. Seriously.
That would be one - really - interesting - dinner. Wow. Yeah, without the Doctor there to shut Jack up I don’t think much else would get discussed, because I don’t see Elizabeth refusing the attention or Ron doing anything other than sitting there and listening awkwardly.
And it’s Captain Jack so he might make things more awkward by hitting on Ron... oh dear, this would not be a good dinner at all.
Oh my... not at all. Okay, who let these three slip through security and go out to dinner? Dumbledore, pay attention to your students, Doctor... get a hold on Jack... Will, control your fiancee!

8. 3 challenges 10 to a duel, who wins?
Oh man! Epic duel of the century... Count Dracula and Bellatrix Lestrange???? CAN I HAVE FRONT ROW SEATS (behind bullet/spell/vampire proof glass, of course)
I’ll bring popcorn. And a wooden stake. And... um... Molly Weasley.
Sounds like a good plan. I think they’ll both end up dead...
Remember though, Bella has a wooden wand... plus I think she’d stand a decent chance of winning... I mean she has a wider range of magic than Dracula has vampire-y powers.
That is very true. If ever in our wildest dreams this happens, I’ll remember to bet on Bellatrix.

9. If 1 stole 8's most precious possession, would (s)he get it back?
OH OH OH! Katniss, you’d BETTER not steal the Millennium Falcon!
Oh man... I think that might end up being more than even Katniss could handle.
Yeah, she’s tough but... getting between Han Solo and his ship? Bad move, girl.

10. Suggest a story title in which 7 and 12 both attain what they desire.
HAHAHAHA... wow... okay... well, first off I don’t know if that’s a book I’d want to read because it’d be so complicated!
It would involve lots of guns, swords, kissing, and mythological creatures that are actually aliens. What was the word you used... yeah, complicated.
The book title “It’s Complicated”

11. What kind of plot device would you have to use if you wanted 1 and 4 to work together?
Katniss and Bella Swan... oooh! I know! Send them to a therapy group for girls dealing with having two guys in love with them.
HAHAHA... I’m going to have to second that.
So I have a serious question for you. Team Peeta or Team Gale?
Oohh.... hmm, I have to admit I was Team Gale for a good deal of the time, because after all he was there first. But then after the third book when he ...did some things I didn’t agree with... okay, I was still Team Gale ‘cause I liked him better and he was there first!
Was he really there first? Remember Katniss was awfully young when she first met Peeta... oh well, it’s been a few months since I read the books. Anyhow, I’m TEAM PEETA ALL THE WAY!
Eh, yeah, Peeta was there first. drat... hey, did you say there was a therapy group for people who can’t choose between two guys?
Yeah, I’ll give you the number.

12. If 7 visited you for the weekend, how would it go?
Uuuuuum..... I don’t know if I should answer this. My subconscious has a serious but inexplicable crush on Captain Jack Harkness.
I’m just gonna say that I don’t know if I’d open the door... I mean, Captain Jack is great... but I do have a boyfriend and I don’t want him getting jealous.
I’ll tell you what you do. You give him my address and send him to MY door! Oh wait... is that a good idea?
Well... I don’t know... How about I send him to your door and let you decide if you want to answer it or not?
Again I ask... is that wise? On the other hand. I COULD use him to track down the Doctor and the Tardis...
Then in that case I shall send him to your door and come along to chaperon!
Good plan!

13. If you could command 3 to perform any service or task for you, what would it be?
I would command Count Dracula to please go far, far away and not kill me and my family or my friends.
Well, I have heard that Dracula knows the X-Men. So I’d ask him to lead me to Utopia in exchange for... um... I’d think of something. Power or blood or information... ya know, the usual.
I’d offer him a chance to kill Edward Cullen and avenge the vampire reputation.
Seriously? Edward is so overpowered he would kill Dracula. Sad, but true.
Sad day.

14. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw 11?
I’m sure someone does. I have some friends who are into both Johnny Depp and Tim Burton.
Yeah, I’m sure someone at my school has at least doodled him.

15. If 2 had to choose sides between 4 and 5, what side would (s)he choose?

Ron choose between Bella and Bob? Difficult. I have this sneaking suspicion he’d go with Bob though...especially once he heard that Bellatrix Lestrange had tried to kill poor Bob and make him into soup.
I think that.... ooh, well if Hermoine was around then Ron would probably choose Bob. haha, Hermoine would probably talk him into starting a society to defend talking tomatoes.
Totally! And Ron, having grown into a very wise young man, would totally support her.

16. What might 10 shout out while charging into battle?
FOR THE DARK LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AVADA KADAVERA! and then waver her wand all over the place and kill as many people as possible.
Yeah, that too.

17. If you had to choose a song to best describe 8, what would it be?
Okay, this is gonna sound weird but... you know how Han falls for Leia before she falls for him? And he keeps hitting on her and whatever? Well that makes me think of “Marian the Librarian” from Music Man.
Now I really want to see a singing, dancing Han Solo.

18. 1, 6 and 12 are having a dim sum at a Chinese Restaurant. There is only one scallion pancake left, and they all reach for it at the same time. Who gets it?
Katniss, Rapunzel and Elizabeth Swann? Katniss, no contest.
Rapunzel. She shoots out her hair and grabs it before anyone else can.
But then Katniss jumps on the table, quick as anything, and uses her knife to cut Rapunzel’s hair off!
And while they are fighting and cutting hair, Elizabeth sneaks it and eats it before the realized what happened.

19. What would be a good pickup line for 2 to say to 10?
OH. My. GOSH! Ron Weasley with a pickup line for Bellatrix Lestrange??!?!!?!
“So...uh... you look like death. Er, I mean, deathly beautiful! Yeah! You’re deathly beautiful! Why are you looking me like that? No! Seriously! I think you’re gorgeous! Wanna get a butterbeer at -- why are you getting your wand out --- AHHHHH” *dies*

20. What would 5 most likely be arrested for?
Bob? Get arrested? The only thing he’d get arrested for is following the rules too scrupulously.
Well, he did get arrested in “The Star of Christmas” for stealing... but that was in character.
Yeah, I can’t see BOB, THE BOB stealing...

21. What is 6's secret?
She has magic hair! That glows! And shines! And... does magic-y stuff. But wait, you knew that. So it’s not a secret. Bother...
Her secret is... she actually IS Mother Gothel’s daughter!
Poor Mother Gothel. I loved the Disney version, but I prefer the retellings where Mother Gothel is portrayed in a more sympathetic light.

22. If 11 and 9 were racing to a destination, who would get there first?
King Arthur, I think. Cuz, you know, horses.
Hmm, probably King Arthur. Edward Scissorhands could cut his way through any leafy obstacles, but yeah, Arthur has the horses.

23. If you had to walk home through a bad neighborhood late at night, who would you feel more comfortable walking with, 7 or 8?
Captain Jack Harkness or Captain Han Solo... OH MAN I CAN’T CHOOSE!
OH boy... well, as long as Jack has his teleport thingy, and his squarness gun... I actually think I’d feel a little safer with Jack. Although, the question says safe, not comfortable. If Jack started hitting on me... hmm, okay, I’d feel more comfortable with Han.
Here I’ve got the advantage in that I’ve watched Torchwood (ADULT SHOW, NOT FOR THE KIDDIES), and Jack actually is a lot calmer there. He radiates this sort of peace and protection, he’s very fatherly towards his team and I really like that. Han is just much more cocky --- Jack may ACT cocky, but he’s got so much wisdom and experience that he isn’t ACTUALLY cocky. So I guess knowing all that, I’d go with Jack.
Hmm, okay. I’ll take your word for it then!

24. 1 and 9 reluctantly team up to save the world from the threat posed by 4's sinister secret organization. 11 volunteers to help them,but it is later discovered that s/he is actually a spy for 4. Meanwhile, 4 has kidnapped 12 in an attempt to force their surrender. Following the wise advice of 5, they seek out 3, who gives them what they need to complete their quest. What title would you give this fic?

Katniss and King Arthur team up to save the world from Bella Swan. Edward Scissorshands offers to help them, but then they discover he’s a SPY for Bella! (Because she has a thing for all guys named Edward). Meanwhile Bella has kidnapped Elizabeth Swann to force her surrender... and you know, for stealing her name! Katniss and Arthur seek the advice of Bob the Tomato who gives them Bible verses that somehow lead them to Count Dracula... who says that Bella can be defeated by driving a stake through her heart. Which actually doesn’t work, so Dracula does more research and realizes that Bella is another kind of vampire and needs to be ripped into pieces. So King Arthur takes Excalibur and hacks her up and Katniss starts a fire and burns the pieces. They rescue Elizabeth Swann who then runs off to find her true love, Captain Jack Har--- oh wait, that’s a different story.
Okay... a title for this.... I’m thinking..
The Rise and Fall of the Vampire Swan
I like that! Alright, now go and make that an actual story!
What is there left to say? I mean besides dialogue and description and motivations and inner mologues and kissing... oh wait, other story again.


Kathleem said...

I LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ivy said...

Bahahahahaha this was amazing! :D

Morgan said...

Haha, this is hilarious! Great answers! I might have to steal this idea and fill it out myself-it looks like too much fun to pass up :P

I loved number 8, by the way- a battle between Dracula and Bellatrix would be epic, for sure!

Victoria said...

Ohmgosh, that was SO much fun to read! Totally made my day.
I may just have to do it myself on my blog...if that's okay with you. If I do it, I'll be sure to link back to you. :)

Elizabeth Amy Hajek said...

Oh please do! I'd love to read yours!